News for December 2009

Author's Note

For me November and December are the two months of the year that go by the fastest. Maybe it's the holidays, but I think it is bigger than that. To me these last two months signify more than just the end of another year; they represent the completion (or not) of another set of goals and are a time of reflection for what has occurred over the past year. It is hard to not be a bit melancholy, especially if we've experienced any losses. This year marked the end of a 4-year commitment I made to myself to be more present for my father, mother and stepmother as each of them slowly deteriorated. This meant a lot of time on the road to New York and a burden to the family I left behind in Arizona when I was traveling. Watching my father battle against the odds and stay alive long after the experts predicted his death was awe-inspiring. I can only pray that my commitment to my parents came even slightly close to the example he set for watching over family.

Until next month......Lin

Meeting our English Author, Frank Stanford

There is Still Time to Donate !!!

I am excited to travel to England to meet Amethyst Moon Publishing's author Frank Stanford. His book, My Garden Tribute: A Collection of World War II Stories has done well. Proceeds from My Garden Tribute are donated to the Sussexdown Nursing Home. Frank will accompany me to present them with a check. I'll be leaving on the 22nd of November. If you would like to make a donation, please click here. You can purchase the book or just make a donation. You can also mail donations to us at this address:

Sussexdown Nursing Home Donations
c/o Amethyst Moon Publishing
P.O. Box 87885
Tucson, AZ 85754

The following is another article on a series that will explore different types of fear, their formation, their affect in our lives, and how to diminish or eliminate their presence.

Fear of Failure

In a society were we are driven to be successful, little room is left for failure. However, mistakes are often our most important teachers.

When we are growing up we learn what behaviors are desired and which are not by the reactions of our parents, teachers and friends. Few young people are lucky enough to be exposed to parents or other teachers who accept or encourage failure as a a positive step in development. Failures and mistakes are most likely met with disapproval, rejection or maybe even punishment. These negative responses teach us to form the belief that failure is "bad". The more often we make mistakes and are met with harsh or negative judgment, the more ingrained the belief that failure results in negative consequences becomes.

In the corporate world engineers are valued for designs that don't fail and many customers demand perfection during every test. This philosophy means that tests are not supposed to end in failure. Unfortunately this also means that design limitations can not be tested because they might result in failure. Even though it seems logical to measure and identify design limits during the design phase instead of after a product has gone to production, in a world where failure is seen as bad, this often does not occur. Thus the computations made on paper or predicted in computer models have to be assumed to be correct since they can not be tested or discovered with "real" product. Results are recalls and less-than-desired products. Ingenuity can be inadvertently stifled because designers are not encouraged or rewarded for trying new things if they might fail. Who knows what new innovations might be discovered if failure was acceptable, encourged and rewarded?

In our personal lives the same can be true. Being rewarded for trying and failing does not often occur. Everything seems success-driven. We even inadvertently pass the lesson on to our children, rewarding them for winning their soccer game or getting high grades. What if they had learned more by losing or by playing in the band instead of getting straight As? Will they be a better member of society by not failing?

For me some of the biggest lessons have come when I found myself in a position that many people might label as failure. When I can cut myself some slack and allow myself to be unbiased when I review my life at those points (i.e., I'm kind in my self-judgement), I am rewarded with new understanding of my behavior and giant steps forward in my evolution.

Being afraid to fail means that we are less likely to take risks, even those that could be very beneficial for us.

ONE CHOICE CAN CHANGE A LIFE